’ ‘I promise.’ And she stopped giggling and watched him kiss her fingers, one by one, as if she were something very precious, something to be cherished. ‘I promise.’ * * * * The days seemed to be passing very slowly and very fast all at the same time. Every time she turned around the hands of the clock seemed to have raced ’round the face again and yet each minute trickled by like treacle. This week was an agony of waiting and yet there was a strange pleasure in it. She savoured each moment, dragging out little chores into lengthy processes that gave her time to think while her body undertook the mindless physical work. Her thoughts were thick with memories, moments distilled like aromatic oils until they were just the essence – a resounding emotion or a few fractured words. One day the man next door took it into his head to cut the grass on the front lawn and the smell of it, baking in the sun, set off a tidal wave of memories that left her aimless and distracted for the rest of the. The Army flew Jerry's casket here and paid for plane tickets for the parents to fly out for the funeral and paid to put him in the ground. Since he was on active duty when it happened, he got a military funeral and I got a flag out of it. There was no medal involved because he'd been shopping when it happened. He was checking out vegetables outside a market when the truck crashed a few feet away and blew up. It was quick for Jerry, which is nice, I guess. It was also closed casket. I never did find out how much of him, if any, was in the casket.We got a check deposited in my account on the first of every month for $1483. That's the benefit for surviving spouse and two children. That was subject to review every year and as far as I know, it always went up a few bucks. My parents, who lived on a small farm in Missouri that had been paid off for years, who grew a major portion of their own food and who had no one to support since their daughters had both moved as far away as possible.
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